got caught up in my old blog recently. it was really fun for me to relive a lot of what i had written about over the years in such a playful manner. seems that my most enjoyable tone was carried out during the latter half of 2006. at least, in my opinion. you don’t necessarily know me so, you don’t know the differences among my tones.
i had all but forgotten about it when someone just reminded me that i had once posted a picture that showed a slight bit of my crack, so i had to go back and take a look at what i was thinking when that happened. (turns out i was really mad about having had just completed a 10 mile canoe trip that left me bruised, and, had taken up a ton of my life that i was obviously never going to get back.)
while meandering down memory lane, i also found a drunk episode, a buzzed episode, quirky stories from long ago, quirky stories from not so long ago, pictures of stuff, pictures of things, lists galore, a few phone-ins, and this:
i want to see pictures of you at the ages of 5,7,9,11,14,18,21. i want to know what you’ve got loaded on your mp3 player. i want to cuddle with you by the fire on the evening following especially seasonal holiday activities. i wonder what you’re doing right now. i want to be aimless in stores with you. i don’t want to just be a friend. i want to be with you most hours of my life. i want my heart to stop racing because you make it do that. i want to bottle the nervous/anxious/excited/calm your presence brings. i want to take you to my reunions. i want to travel everywhere with you. i bet you wouldn’t want to kill the giant spiders either. i want to be the one you call as soon as the plane lands. i want to braise meats and veggies for you. i want to get snowed in while we’re visiting your parents. i want to watch as mine fall in love with you. i wonder if you caught that song like i did. i wish i could remember what life was like before you. i want us to (blank) (blank) in the (blank). i want to sleep in your pajama top. i want to give you an alias so we can crash open houses on sundays.
this was the first ever straight from the heart writing i had ever done in my life. something caused me to dig deep and really get it out somewhere in public. (because public is the only way to come clean?) and then it went unnoticed and sat dormant for quite a while. and then one day, it was finally noticed. i actually recall going in and making edits beforehand due to me believing some of the original content was too “risque”… which was incorrect… it definitely wasn’t now that i know what i know. the original copy is actually very amusing… i digress.
“i want my heart to stop racing because you make it do that.” – how many people truly feel this towards you in life that you know of? pretty amazing i say.
